New Year, New Blog and starting it off with … of course “fitness”. What would a January blog be if it wasn’t filled with lofty ideas of a “new body”, or “new and best” routine? This post isn’t just going to be about physical fitness, but also mental.

I started practicing yoga a little over 2 years ago. I saw a friend of mine post a picture of herself in “crow pose” (which is basically balancing your weight on your forearms via your knees), and thought 1) That is the coolest thing ever! and 2) I can totally do that.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, I couldn’t get a toe off the floor, and almost fell on my face.
Through this I found an amazingly supportive group of ladies (and a few gentlemen) on Instagram that do yoga. We all supported each other through monthly yoga “challenges” or poses a day stuff, but were also SUPER encouraging and willing to give advice. As my body grew stronger and more flexible, I found that I also felt more confident. Not that I was posting half naked bikini yoga poses on Instagram, but that in small way the I CAN voice became louder than the You’re not worthy voice.

I tried rock climbing with my husband. It only took me a month to get over the fear of heights I had, but eventually I made it to the top of the wall on the beginner routes.
I took on more responsibility at work. Started to set meetings for myself, and tried to be more vocal in meetings with higher ups.
And of course, who doesn’t feel a bit sexier after losing a few pounds? 😉

But now … after 2 years, my progress has slowed. I’m not hitting a new pose each week to post in Instagram. I’ve seen other, more experienced “yogis” post about hitting plateaus, and needing to push through and “commit to the practice”, but honestly I’ve really fallen off. Where I was practicing at home 3ish times a week, plus an hour long Vinyasa class once a week,  I’m lucky to  make it to my weekly class. AND NOW, the classes are on hold until they find a new teacher. AND I LOVED MY TEACHER!!! Ugh, #firstworldproblems.

But … While my physical practice has fallen off, my mental practice has really shown me that it’s been working in the background as well.
Life around the holidays ALWAYS gets weird, doesn’t it? For me, the time of year that’s meant for merriment and family time ends up being full of stress, and anxiety mind fields. Though this year I found I was able to “practice” my yoga, in way I didn’t realized I had developed the ability to do.
That infuriating communication? Stop and distract yourself for a bit before replying.
Heart starting to race and thoughts in a jumble? Stop and do some square breathing, 4 in-hold-4 out-hold.
My yoga practice was letting me know that even though I wasn’t putting the time in on my mat, I was still “practicing”.

I thought I’d give you just a brief overview of my “home practice”. I have to do it in my kitchen because it’s the only place without carpeted floors (other than the bathrooms, Ew).  It also has the least amount of distractions. I’ve accumulated a few things over the years, but when I started I just had a mat, and 2 blocks from Target. I still have those blocks (cat chew marks and all), and my husband uses the mat now. I also picked up the mat sling (which doubles as a strap for hard to reach poses), and the green roller from Target. I won the mat seen below in an Instagram raffle, it’s from La Vie Boheme Yoga. It has a beautiful phrase in the middle of the circle “O’ would my heart ever be so light as to dance with the fluttering sound of a butterfly’s wings!”. Amazing right?! If only I could look at it while I practiced because unfortunately the mat turns into a Slip ‘N Slide the moment my hands start to sweat (about the 3rd down dog, I have sweaty hands). So I got the yoga towel (from yogi toes) to go over top of my mat. The mat itself is super cushy, but I couldn’t with the sliding around. And last but not least, the Yoga Wheel, which I moved up to after the green roller wasn’t enough. I’m still not an expert on how to use the thing, but it makes for great chest openers.

So, I’m not going to end this post with any “I’m going to do more …” or “My goal is to …” except for being mindful. I want to reestablish my practice, but I also want it to come organically. I don’t want to resent it, or feel like a failure when I don’t hit my own goal. My only hope, is that I’ll try to become more consistent and self accountable by using this notebook as my Yoga Journal. Be Fabulous Everyone! Whatever that means to you.

~K. Bendy